I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
