all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
