38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
