Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
