so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
