How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
