Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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