I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
