I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
These tits shall not be calmed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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