Heybabeimwearingurpanties
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
