I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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