No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
