I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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