I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
