WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can I color on your dick again?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
