Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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