If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
