Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
