My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize