Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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