He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
