plz talk dirty to me
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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