How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
