Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
