On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize