so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
