Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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