It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
