Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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