my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize