Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
