apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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