my vag is so smooth its legendary
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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