Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
