Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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