I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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