if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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