I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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