xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
