that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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