you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
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is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
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bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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