Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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