I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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