Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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