no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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