you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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