is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
