first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
