Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
