What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
