i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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