I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
