god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize