Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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