what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize