I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
