If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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